John 5:17 My Father is still working, and I also am working.
When I was about twenty-five, I read the Bible from front to back. I
remember the way the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke disturbed me.
Jesus was so enigmatic. The Jesus in John, however, confirmed my
understanding of him. Almost forty years later, I am having the opposite
experience as I read through John to write these reflections.
In John, Jesus seems to have no room for my doubts. He is so confident,
and the unpredictable humanity I find in the other gospels, which I now
appreciate, is harder to see here. Like any other relationship,
perhaps, my relationship with Jesus in the gospels has changed over
time.
As I evolve over time, each encounter with Jesus brings
surprises and new understandings. While I don’t find this rediscovery
process entirely pleasant or easy, if it were any other way, my faith
would be static and childlike my entire life. I must wrestle with the
Jesus I find in John, just as I wrestled with the Jesus of Mark and
Matthew and Luke, and be changed again.
