Bring [your children] up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
I admit that it was difficult to watch my two children, Danae and Ryan, grow
up. I knew they couldn’t remain children forever, and I certainly didn’t want to
freeze their development. But I loved every minute of their childhood, and I
cherish the memories we created.
I worked especially hard on “letting go” of Danae during her last three years
at home. One of the most difficult times occurred when she was fifteen. She was
having trouble getting ready for school on time, and I repeatedly rescued her by
driving her there at the last minute. Finally, Jim and I agreed that it was time
for Danae to accept full responsibility for beating the tardy bell.
One morning Danae missed her carpool ride, and she appeared at my door as I
was preparing for an appointment. I ignored her hints about driving her, and we
lived too far from school for her to walk. When she realized I wasn’t going to
rescue her, she called Dial‐A‐Ride, our city‐sponsored cab company. She gathered
her books and sat on the curb in front of our house with her head down, waiting
for the cab.
I reluctantly faced one of my most difficult assignments ever. I backed my
car out of the driveway and drove off, leaving my beloved teenage daughter
dejected and alone. My mind flooded with all the horrible things that could
happen to a young girl by herself. I asked God to protect Danae and help her
learn from this experience.
The Lord heard my prayer. Danae came bounding into the house after school,
threw her books on the table, and wailed, “Oh, Mother! How embarrassing! Do you
know what kind of cab Dial‐A‐Ride has? It is a huge, old, beat‐up station wagon.
The driver drove me right up in front of the school, and all my friends saw me.
Oh, I will never do that again!” The next morning, Danae was up at the crack of
dawn.
It’s extremely difficult for loving, caring parents to let their vulnerable
children face embarrassment or failure. Our impulse is to bail them out or cover
for their irresponsibility. But if we have faith in our objectives—and in our
kids—we’ll stay the course and all do some growing up together.
- Shirley M Dobson
From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James
& Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights
reserved.