Differing Assumptions

“May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus.” Romans 15:5

As in last night’s story, “The Argument,” a difficult day can quickly lead to an unnecessarily heated exchange between spouses. Fatigue, problems with the kids or job, illness, or financial worries can make anyone more susceptible to a fight. So can the condition I (jcd) call “differing assumptions.” For example, after a particularly grueling series of speaking appearances some years ago, I came dragging home on Friday night feeling I’d earned a day off. I planned to watch a USC‐Alabama football game on TV the next day. That seemed like a reasonable plan for a guy who had been out earning a living day and night. Shirley, on the other hand, had been running our home and watching the kids for six weeks and felt it was time I pitched in on a few chores. It was entirely reasonable for Shirley to think that she deserved some help at home after doing “domestic duty” for six weeks. Our assumptions collided about ten o’clock Saturday morning. Harsh words froze our relationship for three days. It was a stupid fight, but understandable in light of factors like overwork, fatigue, selfishness, and very different views of what the other was thinking.

When we’re making our own plans we need to remember to consider our partner’s mental and physical state. During stressful circumstances, we should take extra care to communicate our expectations ahead of time.

Just between us…

• Have differing assumptions caused us to argue recently?
• How can I do a better job of being aware of your mood?
• Do we communicate our expectations ahead of time?

Lord, by Your Spirit, help us to be aware of each other’s needs and to take care in our communication. Draw us together in unity and in love of You. Amen.

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Really Good Life

Micah 6:1–16  He has showed you, O mortal, what is good.(Micah 6:8) My friend Meg keeps a fuzzy blue sock filled with diamond rings, bracelets and earrings—all gifts from her husband—inside her top dresser drawer. She wears expensive clothes, which her husband insists she buy, and they’re always taking trips to the Bahamas or Hawaii. My friend is tanned, toned, her hair highlighted and her face lifted, but she’s miserable. Although most people who know Meg and her high-profile husband envy their “good life,” only Meg’s closest friends know how much she hates it. Most people associate the good life with a nice house, the latest electronic toys and sleek cars, but those things don’t necessarily make life good. My friend would gladly give up everything she owns for a more fulfilling life. In the community, Meg’s husband is generous and giving and the life of every party. He does favors for everyone and is the first to make a showy donation to a cause. But at home, he’s aloof, demanding, cutting and very controlling. With each new gift he tells my friend, “See how much I love you?” Outwardly, his life looks good, but he misses the mark when it comes to what God requires of him in loving his wife. The Israelites were also guilty of making showy declarations of love for God, but those gifts were mere bribes. And God abhors such sacrifices. Micah told Israel that God was not impressed or pleased with the offerings of “thousands of rams” and “ten thousand rivers of olive oil” (Micah 6:7). Instead, what God requires, what he says is good, is to act justly, with fairness and equity; to love mercy and kindness, to be steadfastly dependable, respectful and committed; and to walk humbly with God (see Micah 6:8). So too in marriage spouses are called to live together sacrificially and with respect (see Ephesians 5:33). We are to “clothe [ourselves] with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12). We are to “keep [our] lives free from the love of money and be content with what [we] have” (Hebrews 13:5). We are to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above [ourselves], not looking to [our] own interests but each of [us] to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3–4). The good life, according to Micah 6:8, is not diamonds stashed in fuzzy socks; it’s doing what is good. Nancy Kennedy Let’s Talk How do we define the “good life”? In what ways can we show each other justice, mercy and humility? What do I treasure from you as acts of justice, mercy and kindness? What do you treasure from me? In what ways do these differ? In what ways are they the same? What areas do we specifically need to work on in our marriage to live according to Micah 6:8?

Daily Readings for April 16, 2016

Exodus 25:1-22
The LORD said to Moses: Tell the Israelites to take for me an offering; from all whose hearts prompt them to give you shall receive the offering for me. This is the offering that you shall receive from them: gold, silver, and bronze, blue, purple, and crimson yarns and fine linen, goats' hair, tanned rams' skins, fine leather, acacia wood, oil for the lamps, spices for the anointing oil and for the fragrant incense, onyx stones and gems to be set in the ephod and for the breastpiece. And have them make me a sanctuary, so that I may dwell among them. In accordance with all that I show you concerning the pattern of the tabernacle and of all its furniture, so you shall make it. They shall make an ark of acacia wood; it shall be two and a half cubits long, a cubit and a half wide, and a cubit and a half high. You shall overlay it with pure gold, inside and outside you shall overlay it, and you shall make a molding of gold upon it all around. You shall cast four rings of gold for it and put them on its four feet, two rings on the one side of it, and two rings on the other side. You shall make poles of acacia wood, and overlay them with gold. And you shall put the poles into the rings on the sides of the ark, by which to carry the ark. The poles shall remain in the rings of the ark; they shall not be taken from it. You shall put into the ark the covenant that I shall give you. Then you shall make a mercy seat of pure gold; two cubits and a half shall be its length, and a cubit and a half its width. You shall make two cherubim of gold; you shall make them of hammered work, at the two ends of the mercy seat. Make one cherub at the one end, and one cherub at the other; of one piece with the mercy seat you shall make the cherubim at its two ends. The cherubim shall spread out their wings above, overshadowing the mercy seat with their wings. They shall face one to another; the faces of the cherubim shall be turned toward the mercy seat. You shall put the mercy seat on the top of the ark; and in the ark you shall put the covenant that I shall give you. There I will meet with you, and from above the mercy seat, from between the two cherubim that are on the ark of the covenant, I will deliver to you all my commands for the Israelites.

Colossians 3:1-17
So if you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth, for you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life is revealed, then you also will be revealed with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, whatever in you is earthly: fornication, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed (which is idolatry). On account of these the wrath of God is coming on those who are disobedient. These are the ways you also once followed, when you were living that life. But now you must get rid of all such things-- anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive language from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have stripped off the old self with its practices and have clothed yourselves with the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge according to the image of its creator. In that renewal there is no longer Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave and free; but Christ is all and in all! As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in the one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly; teach and admonish one another in all wisdom; and with gratitude in your hearts sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Matthew 4:18-25
As he walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea-- for they were fishermen. And he said to them, "Follow me, and I will make you fish for people." Immediately they left their nets and followed him. As he went from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John, in the boat with their father Zebedee, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father, and followed him. Jesus went throughout Galilee, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and curing every disease and every sickness among the people. So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought to him all the sick, those who were afflicted with various diseases and pains, demoniacs, epileptics, and paralytics, and he cured them. And great crowds followed him from Galilee, the Decapolis, Jerusalem, Judea, and from beyond the Jordan.

Morning Psalms

Psalm 30
1   I will exalt you, O LORD, because you have lifted me up and have not let my enemies triumph over me.
2   O LORD my God, I cried out to you, and you restored me to health.
3   You brought me up, O LORD, from the dead; you restored my life as I was going down to the grave.
4   Sing to the LORD, you servants of his; give thanks for the remembrance of his holiness.
5   For his wrath endures but the twinkling of an eye, his favor for a lifetime.
6   Weeping may spend the night, but joy comes in the morning.
7   While I felt secure, I said, "I shall never be disturbed. You, LORD, with your favor, made me as strong as the mountains."
8   Then you hid your face, and I was filled with fear.
9   I cried to you, O LORD; I pleaded with the Lord, saying,
10   What profit is there in my blood, if I go down to the Pit? will the dust praise you or declare your faithfulness?
11   Hear, O LORD, and have mercy upon me; O LORD, be my helper."
12   You have turned my wailing into dancing; you have put off my sack-cloth and clothed me with joy.
13   Therefore my heart sings to you without ceasing; O LORD my God, I will give you thanks for ever.

Psalm 32
1   Happy are they whose transgressions are forgiven, and whose sin is put away!
2   Happy are they to whom the LORD imputes no guilt, and in whose spirit there is no guile!
3   While I held my tongue, my bones withered away, because of my groaning all day long.
4   For your hand was heavy upon me day and night; my moisture was dried up as in the heat of summer.
5   Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and did not conceal my guilt.
6   I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD." Then you forgave me the guilt of my sin.
7   Therefore all the faithful will make their prayers to you in time of trouble; when the great waters overflow, they shall not reach them.
8   You are my hiding-place; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.
9   I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go; I will guide you with my eye.
10   Do not be like horse or mule, which have no understanding; who must be fitted with bit and bridle, or else they will not stay near you."
11   Great are the tribulations of the wicked; but mercy embraces those who trust in the LORD.
12   Be glad, you righteous, and rejoice in the LORD; shout for joy, all who are true of heart.

Evening Psalms

Psalm 42
1   As the deer longs for the water-brooks, so longs my soul for you, O God.
2   My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God; when shall I come to appear before the presence of God?
3   My tears have been my food day and night, while all day long they say to me, "Where now is your God?"
4   I pour out my soul when I think on these things; how I went with the multitude and led them into the house of God,
5   With the voice of praise and thanksgiving, among those who keep holy-day.
6   Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? and why are you so disquieted within me?
7   Put your trust in God; for I will yet give thanks to him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God.
8   My soul is heavy within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of Jordan, and from the peak of Mizar among the heights of Hermon.
9   One deep calls to another in the noise of your cataracts; all your rapids and floods have gone over me.
10   The LORD grants his loving-kindness in the daytime; in the night season his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.
11   I will say to the God of my strength, "Why have you forgotten me? and why do I go so heavily while the enemy oppresses me?"
12   While my bones are being broken, my enemies mock me to my face;
13   All day long they mock me and say to me, "Where now is your God?"
14   Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? and why are you so disquieted within me?
15   Put your trust in God; for I will yet give thanks to him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 43
1   Give judgment for me, O God, and defend my cause against an ungodly people; deliver me from the deceitful and the wicked.
2   For you are the God of my strength; why have you put me from you? and why do I go so heavily while the enemy oppresses me?
3   Send out your light and your truth, that they may lead me, and bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling;
4   That I may go to the altar of God, to the God of my joy and gladness; and on the harp I will give thanks to you, O God my God.
5   Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? and why are you so disquieted within me?
6   Put your trust in God; for I will yet give thanks to him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

Daily Meditation for April 16, 2016

From Forward Day by Day

Matthew 4:18 As Jesus walked by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers.

In the gospel stories, Jesus spends a lot of time out in the world. He is not sitting with the scribes and priests in the temple, waiting for God or for people to come to him. He is out in the boundless temple of God’s creation, initiating others into the presence of the kingdom of God.

As a modern-day “temple keeper,” I bump into the kingdom of God again and again. I love our beautiful church, and it is important to have that gathering place to return to for weekly worship. But one of the most important parts of our worship service is the very end, when God sends us out into the world. We are sent out to walk by our local Sea of Galilee, whatever its expression may be, out to that place in our world where people do their work, gather their food, and enter into the kingdom of God.

THE SWORD CANNOT SEPARATE US FROM THE LOVE OF CHRIST

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall…sword…? Romans 8:35g

The question asked is a personal one. Not “what” can separate us but “who”? The inference is our enemy, Satan, who tries every tactic he can garner to make us think we can be separated from Christ’s love. Today we look at his tactic of “sword” or violence.

Sister Pasqualita spoke at the “Mexico, I Love You” Congress. She had suffered severe ostracism in her small town in the very southern part of Mexico because she had become an evangelical. Other Christians had already been forcibly driven from the town.

One night a group of her persecutors surrounded her grass-roofed home setting it on fire. As she opened the door, someone fired a gun at her. A co-worker shares her story in his own words:

“When she was sharing her testimony she was crying. She said, ‘I thank the Lord that only twenty-one ammunition bits touched me.’ She had been shot all over her body and even in the neck. She was still able to run and fell into a hole where her persecutors couldn’t see her in the dark. She was losing blood quickly but some other townsfolk who appreciated her testimony somehow took her out through the mob to another nearby town’s clinic. She survived but three other family members in the house were murdered.

“She complained to the Lord saying, ‘Lord, why now that I’ve given you my life and my family am I suffering this way?’ The Lord reminded her of a song that she used to sing very often, ‘I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back.’

“She continued, ‘Then I understood that when I decided to follow Jesus, it was in the midst of any situation, any persecution. My life now belonged to Him. I gained strength in that song. I am preaching again and I am encouraging the rest of the believers that when we decide to follow Jesus there is no turning back.’”

Today Pasqualita continues to be a strong Christian leader and teacher in her community and she still loves to sing, “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back.” 

RESPONSE: I will live this day in the awareness that physical weapons and violence can never separate me from Christ’s love.

PRAYER: Lord, help me to react to any threats of intimidating weapons with complete confidence in Your love.

Verse of the Day - April 16, 2016

Romans 13:8 (NIV) [ Love Fulfills the Law ] Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.

Read all of Romans 13