Night Light for Couples - A Gentle Caress

by Daphna Renan

Michael and I hardly noticed when the waitress came and placed the plates on our table. We were seated in a small deli tucked away from the bustle of Third Street in New York City. Even the smell of our recently arrived blintzes was no challenge to our excited chatter. In fact, the blintzes remained slumped in their sour cream for quite some time. We were enjoying ourselves too much to eat.

Our exchange was lively, if not profound. We laughed about the movie that we had seen the night before and disagreed about the meaning behind the text we had just finished for our literature seminar. He told me about the moment he had taken a drastic step into maturity by becoming Michael and refusing to respond to “Mikey.” Had he been twelve or fourteen? He couldn’t remember, but he did recall that his mother had cried and said he was growing up too quickly. As we finally bit into our blueberry blintzes, I told him about the blueberries that my sister and I used to pick when we went to visit our cousins in the country. I recalled that I always finished mine before we got back to the house, and my aunt would warn me that I was going to get a bad stomachache. Of course, I never did.

As our sweet conversation continued, my eyes glanced across the restaurant, stopping at the small corner booth where an elderly couple sat. The woman’s floral‐print dress seemed as faded as the cushion on which she had rested her worn handbag. The top of the man’s head was as shiny as the soft‐boiled egg he slowly nibbled. She also ate her oatmeal at a slow, almost tedious pace.

But what drew my thoughts to them was their undisturbed silence. It seemed to me that a melancholy emptiness permeated their little corner. As the exchange between Michael and me fluctuated from laughs to whispers, confessions to assessments, this couple’s poignant stillness called to me. How sad, I thought, not to have anything left to say. Wasn’t there any page that they hadn’t yet turned in each other’s stories? What if that happened to us?

Michael and I paid our small tab and got up to leave the restaurant. As we walked by the corner where the old couple sat, I accidentally dropped my wallet. Bending over to pick it up, I noticed that under the table, each of their free hands was gently cradled in the other’s. They had been holding hands all this time!

I stood up feeling humbled by the simple yet profound act of connection I had just been privileged to witness. This man’s gentle caress of his wife’s tired fingers filled not only what I had previously perceived as an emotionally empty corner, but also my heart. Theirs was not the uncomfortable silence that threatens to fill the space after the punch line or at the end of an anecdote on a first date. No, theirs was a comfortable, relaxed ease, a gentle love that did not always need words to express itself. They had probably shared this hour of the morning with each other for a long time, and maybe today wasn’t that different from yesterday, but they were at peace with that—and with each other.

Maybe, I thought as Michael and I walked out, it wouldn’t be so bad if someday that was us. Maybe it would be kind of nice.

Looking ahead…

When husband and wife have achieved true intimacy, like the elderly couple holding hands in tonight’s story, they can enjoy and appreciate each other at the deepest level. That’s true at the corner deli and in the bedroom.

Some would say that “having sex” and “making love” are one and the same, but there’s an important distinction between the two. The physical act of intercourse can be accomplished by any appropriately matched mammals, as well as most other members of the animal kingdom. But the art of making love, as designed by God, is a much more meaningful and complex experience—it’s physical, emotional, and spiritual. In marriage we should settle for nothing less than a sexual relationship that is expressed not only body-to-body, but heart to heart and soul to soul.

As we discuss this subject in the days ahead, you and your partner may want to ask each other: Is our physical intimacy all that it could be?

- James C Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.
“A Gentle Caress” by Daphna Renan. Used by permission of the author. Daphna Renan is a graduate of Yale College. She has published several short stories in several anthologies. She can be contacted by e‐mail at daphna.renan@yale.edu.

The Daily Readings for September 3, 2016

Job 22:1-4, 22:21-23:7
Then Eliphaz the Temanite answered: "Can a mortal be of use to God? Can even the wisest be of service to him? Is it any pleasure to the Almighty if you are righteous, or is it gain to him if you make your ways blameless? Is it for your piety that he reproves you, and enters into judgment with you? "Agree with God, and be at peace; in this way good will come to you. Receive instruction from his mouth, and lay up his words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored, if you remove unrighteousness from your tents, if you treat gold like dust, and gold of Ophir like the stones of the torrent-bed, and if the Almighty is your gold and your precious silver, then you will delight yourself in the Almighty, and lift up your face to God. You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will pay your vows. You will decide on a matter, and it will be established for you, and light will shine on your ways. When others are humiliated, you say it is pride; for he saves the humble. He will deliver even those who are guilty; they will escape because of the cleanness of your hands." Then Job answered: "Today also my complaint is bitter; his hand is heavy despite my groaning. Oh, that I knew where I might find him, that I might come even to his dwelling! I would lay my case before him, and fill my mouth with arguments. I would learn what he would answer me, and understand what he would say to me. Would he contend with me in the greatness of his power? No; but he would give heed to me. There an upright person could reason with him, and I should be acquitted forever by my judge.

Acts 13:26-43
"My brothers, you descendants of Abraham's family, and others who fear God, to us the message of this salvation has been sent. Because the residents of Jerusalem and their leaders did not recognize him or understand the words of the prophets that are read every sabbath, they fulfilled those words by condemning him. Even though they found no cause for a sentence of death, they asked Pilate to have him killed. When they had carried out everything that was written about him, they took him down from the tree and laid him in a tomb. But God raised him from the dead; and for many days he appeared to those who came up with him from Galilee to Jerusalem, and they are now his witnesses to the people. And we bring you the good news that what God promised to our ancestors he has fulfilled for us, their children, by raising Jesus; as also it is written in the second psalm, 'You are my Son; today I have begotten you.' As to his raising him from the dead, no more to return to corruption, he has spoken in this way, 'I will give you the holy promises made to David.' Therefore he has also said in another psalm, 'You will not let your Holy One experience corruption.' For David, after he had served the purpose of God in his own generation, died, was laid beside his ancestors, and experienced corruption; but he whom God raised up experienced no corruption. Let it be known to you therefore, my brothers, that through this man forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you; by this Jesus everyone who believes is set free from all those sins from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses. Beware, therefore, that what the prophets said does not happen to you: 'Look, you scoffers! Be amazed and perish, for in your days I am doing a work, a work that you will never believe, even if someone tells you.'" As Paul and Barnabas were going out, the people urged them to speak about these things again the next sabbath. When the meeting of the synagogue broke up, many Jews and devout converts to Judaism followed Paul and Barnabas, who spoke to them and urged them to continue in the grace of God.

John 10:1-18
"Very truly, I tell you, anyone who does not enter the sheepfold by the gate but climbs in by another way is a thief and a bandit. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. They will not follow a stranger, but they will run from him because they do not know the voice of strangers." Jesus used this figure of speech with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them. So again Jesus said to them, "Very truly, I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and bandits; but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever enters by me will be saved, and will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand, who is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep, sees the wolf coming and leaves the sheep and runs away-- and the wolf snatches them and scatters them. The hired hand runs away because a hired hand does not care for the sheep. I am the good shepherd. I know my own and my own know me, just as the Father knows me and I know the Father. And I lay down my life for the sheep. I have other sheep that do not belong to this fold. I must bring them also, and they will listen to my voice. So there will be one flock, one shepherd. For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life in order to take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it up again. I have received this command from my Father."

Morning Psalms

Psalm 30 Exaltabo te, Domine
1   I will exalt you, O LORD, because you have lifted me up and have not let my enemies triumph over me.
2   O LORD my God, I cried out to you, and you restored me to health.
3   You brought me up, O LORD, from the dead; you restored my life as I was going down to the grave.
4   Sing to the LORD, you servants of his; give thanks for the remembrance of his holiness.
5   For his wrath endures but the twinkling of an eye, his favor for a lifetime.
6   Weeping may spend the night, but joy comes in the morning.
7   While I felt secure, I said, "I shall never be disturbed. You, LORD, with your favor, made me as strong as the mountains."
8   Then you hid your face, and I was filled with fear.
9   I cried to you, O LORD; I pleaded with the Lord, saying,
10   What profit is there in my blood, if I go down to the Pit? will the dust praise you or declare your faithfulness?
11   Hear, O LORD, and have mercy upon me; O LORD, be my helper."
12   You have turned my wailing into dancing; you have put off my sack-cloth and clothed me with joy.
13   Therefore my heart sings to you without ceasing; O LORD my God, I will give you thanks for ever.

Psalm 32 Beati quorum
1   Happy are they whose transgressions are forgiven, and whose sin is put away!
2   Happy are they to whom the LORD imputes no guilt, and in whose spirit there is no guile!
3   While I held my tongue, my bones withered away, because of my groaning all day long.
4   For your hand was heavy upon me day and night; my moisture was dried up as in the heat of summer.
5   Then I acknowledged my sin to you, and did not conceal my guilt.
6   I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD." Then you forgave me the guilt of my sin.
7   Therefore all the faithful will make their prayers to you in time of trouble; when the great waters overflow, they shall not reach them.
8   You are my hiding-place; you preserve me from trouble; you surround me with shouts of deliverance.
9   I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go; I will guide you with my eye.
10   Do not be like horse or mule, which have no understanding; who must be fitted with bit and bridle, or else they will not stay near you."
11   Great are the tribulations of the wicked; but mercy embraces those who trust in the LORD.
12   Be glad, you righteous, and rejoice in the LORD; shout for joy, all who are true of heart.

Evening Psalms

Psalm 42 Quemadmodum
1   As the deer longs for the water-brooks, so longs my soul for you, O God.
2   My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God; when shall I come to appear before the presence of God?
3   My tears have been my food day and night, while all day long they say to me, "Where now is your God?"
4   I pour out my soul when I think on these things; how I went with the multitude and led them into the house of God,
5   With the voice of praise and thanksgiving, among those who keep holy-day.
6   Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? and why are you so disquieted within me?
7   Put your trust in God; for I will yet give thanks to him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God.
8   My soul is heavy within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of Jordan, and from the peak of Mizar among the heights of Hermon.
9   One deep calls to another in the noise of your cataracts; all your rapids and floods have gone over me.
10   The LORD grants his loving-kindness in the daytime; in the night season his song is with me, a prayer to the God of my life.
11   I will say to the God of my strength, "Why have you forgotten me? and why do I go so heavily while the enemy oppresses me?"
12   While my bones are being broken, my enemies mock me to my face;
13   All day long they mock me and say to me, "Where now is your God?"
14   Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? and why are you so disquieted within me?
15   Put your trust in God; for I will yet give thanks to him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 43 Judica me, Deus
1   Give judgment for me, O God, and defend my cause against an ungodly people; deliver me from the deceitful and the wicked.
2   For you are the God of my strength; why have you put me from you? and why do I go so heavily while the enemy oppresses me?
3   Send out your light and your truth, that they may lead me, and bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling;
4   That I may go to the altar of God, to the God of my joy and gladness; and on the harp I will give thanks to you, O God my God.
5   Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? and why are you so disquieted within me?
6   Put your trust in God; for I will yet give thanks to him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God.

The Forward Day by Day Meditation for September 3, 2016

From Forward Day By Day

Psalm 42:4-5 (NRSV) I pour out my soul when I think on these things: how I went with the multitude and led them into the house of God, with the voice of praise and thanksgiving, among those who keep holy-day.

What memories inspire your actions as you set out each day to seek and serve Christ?

I remember the priest who first gave me permission to cherish the eucharist in unreasonable ways: “Let this be the most important thing about your days,” he said. “Let every other action of the preceding week be measured by its ability to deliver you to this encounter. Be completed here.” One year, after the Easter Vigil, I found myself staying late at the church with that priest and a group of friends. In pre-dawn hours, we used brown paper bags and hot irons to remove wax from the bricks of the floor of the nave, crawling alongside each other on hands and knees, grinning and giddy over the love of the Word made flesh.

Years later, my smile from that night still stretches from ear to ear. Memories of that vigil—echoes of the paschal shouts of “Alleluia!”—still stir my soul. My soul is poured out when I think about these things.

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NIV Devotions for Couples - Conquering Fears in Marriage

Hebrews 11:1—12:3

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

It’s scary to tell someone, “I love you.” It’s even more frightening to ask, “Will you marry me?”

Still even more terrifying is the answer: “Yes.”

Think about the weak-in-the-knees words “I do” and what can follow them: buying a house, having children, moving the family to a different state, taking a new job . . . The list of intimidating, heart-pounding, fear-provoking aspects of marriage go on and on.

Responsibility really hit me when Kelli and I started having children. I thought, “Now, not only is my life inextricably linked to my wife’s, and not only do I carry the responsibility of owning property, but now I am responsible for the well-being, provision and growth of other little human beings.” What a scary thought!
It seems that in every new stage in life, the stakes get higher.

When you stop and think about it, though, all of the Christian life takes tremendous courage as we commit our lives to God and join others who are called to be God’s people. Though we cannot see God, we can be confident of God’s goodness, God’s power, God’s presence and God’s wisdom. And yet we still must take that fearful first step of trust.

As Christians, we trust the unseen and base all our decisions about love and marriage on God’s invisible reality and the promises he has made. To live the Christian life and to make choices (not only for me, but for my entire family) based on a God we can’t see is tough. But the Bible tells us that this is the only wise choice to make.

As we look to Scripture for guidance, we can draw comfort and courage from heroes of faith such as Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses and Rahab—people Kierkegaard called the unsurpassed “Knights of Faith.” After commending these and a few other Old Testament believers specifically (see Hebrews 11:4–31), the writer of Hebrews affirmed the many others who had faith to conquer kingdoms, administer justice, shut the mouths of lions and rout foreign armies (see Hebrews 11:32–38). These heroes weren’t lauded because they were strong in themselves, but because they trusted God. They were weak as they considered the tasks ahead of them, but when they trusted God, he turned their weakness into strength.

Likewise we are to trust God as we face the risky and intimidating aspects of married life. For as Hebrews 12:1 assures us, we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, and therefore we have the strength and courage to throw off everything that hinders us and move forward in love, confidence and trust. This is the unseen reality that makes sense of our choice to step forward into marriage despite our fears.

David and Kelli Trujillo

Let’s Talk

• What are the toughest choices or biggest risks we’ve ever had to take in our lives? In our marriage?
• What is our vision for our life together? What fears do we have? What hopes do we have?
• How can we help each other live like heroes of faith as we face fears and risks in the years to come?

Daily Devotional by John Piper - The “I Will” of God

Jerusalem shall be inhabited as villages without walls, because of the multitude of people and livestock in it. And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord, and I will be the glory in her midst. (Zechariah 2:4–5)

There are mornings when I wake up feeling fragile. Vulnerable. It’s often vague. No single threat. No one weakness. Just an amorphous sense that something is going to go wrong and I will be responsible.
It’s usually after a lot of criticism. Lots of expectations that have deadlines and that seem too big and too many.

As I look back over about 50 years of such periodic mornings, I am amazed how the Lord Jesus has preserved my life. And my ministry. The temptation to run away from the stress has never won out — not yet anyway. This is amazing. I worship him for it.

Instead of letting me sink into a paralysis of fear, or run to a mirage of greener grass, he has awakened a cry for help and then answered with a concrete promise.

Here’s an example. This is recent. I woke up feeling emotionally fragile. Weak. Vulnerable. I prayed: “Lord help me. I’m not even sure how to pray.”

An hour later I was reading in Zechariah, seeking the help I had cried out for. It came.

Jerusalem shall be inhabited as villages without walls, because of the multitude of people and livestock in it. And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord, and I will be the glory in her midst. (Zechariah 2:4–5)

There will be such prosperity and growth for the people of God that Jerusalem will not be able to be walled in any more. “The multitude of people and livestock” will be so many that Jerusalem will be like many villages spreading out across the land without walls.

Prosperity is nice, but what about protection?

To which God says in Zechariah 2:5, “I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord.” Yes. That’s it. That is the promise. The “I will” of God. That is what I need.

And if it is true for the vulnerable villages of Jerusalem, it is true for me a child of God. God will be a “wall of fire all around me.” Yes. He will. He has been. And he will be.

And it gets better. Inside that fiery wall of protection he says, “And I will be the glory in her midst.” God is never content to give us the protection of his fire; he will give us pleasure of his presence.

Standing Strong Through the Storm - HELP IN INTERPRETING THE BIBLE

Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you endured in a great conflict full of suffering. Hebrews 10:32

Our Open Doors colleague, Ron Boyd-MacMillan, shares the following insight from his teaching, “Why I Need to Encounter the Persecuted Church.”

Every pastor and Bible teacher works hard to understand the meaning of the scriptures. They learn biblical languages, look up concordances, and consult commentaries, all in the hope of shedding more light on the key questions of interpretation: 

1. Who wrote this text and what did they mean by it?
2. Who initially read this text and what did they make of it? 

All good interpretation begins with the tools that answer these two primary questions. We are taught that these tools lie in the realm of scholarship, and most pastors take to their studies and their libraries accordingly. But there is another vitally overlooked tool that gives a key to the meaning of the scriptures. The persecuted church of today represents the closest we can come to the original writers and readers of the scriptures. You see, most of the Bible was written by persecuted people for persecuted people. By interacting with them, we gain unique insights into the original meaning of the scriptures. We really need their help because what is obvious to a persecuted, biblical Christian is no longer obvious to us. We inhabit a completely different universe. We need the persecuted to remind us of what life was like for the original New Testament community. The persecuted enable us in some small way to recover the “original eyes” of the first writers and readers of scripture, and that can impact interpretation.

I remember a dear pastor from the West preaching about Jesus stilling the storm (Mark 4:35-41). His whole talk was on how Jesus could still the storms raging in our lives. He named storms like loneliness, misunderstanding, humiliation, persecution even. And he said, “Jesus can deliver you from every one of these storms, just like he did the disciples of old.”

He was about to go on when an old man stood up. He was from a Middle Eastern country and had seen much suffering. He said gently and respectfully, “My dear brother, if you had been persecuted you would know the primary meaning of this passage. The point of this story is not that Jesus takes the storm away, but that there is no need to fear the storm if Jesus is in the boat.” Everyone stared at him in silence. He added, “This passage is given to us for our comfort in the face of terrible storms, to know that Jesus is in the boat with us so that the storm will do us no harm.” So that persecuted Christian—because he was persecuted—knew the meaning of the passage better than the preacher, because he was one for whom the passage was written.

RESPONSE: Today I will read my Bible through the eyes and perspective of the persecuted.

PRAYER: Lord, may Your Word come alive as I interpret it with the help of the persecuted church.

Un Dia a la Vez - La vanidad de la vida

Es don de Dios que todo hombre coma y beba, y goce el bien de toda su labor. Eclesiastés 3:13, RV-60

Muchas cosas en la vida son vanidad y nos hacen perder la orientación. Por ejemplo, el anhelo desmedido por las riquezas. La Biblia nos enseña que el amor al dinero también es vanidad.

Por eso, el verdadero convertido es el que deja a un lado el interés por las cosas materiales y se concentra en Dios que es el Dador de todo en este mundo. Una cosa es ser próspero y otra cosa es que tu vida la pongas a valer por lo que tienes… Cuanto tienes, cuanto vales.

El Manual de Instrucciones nos recuerda que no podemos creer que siempre seremos jóvenes, pues la juventud pasa de igual manera. Como salimos desnudos del vientre de nuestra madre, así volveremos sin nada.

Pidámosle a Dios que seamos capaces de mantener un equilibrio en la vida, que disfrutemos de sus bendiciones y que, de lo mucho o lo poco que tengamos, podamos darles a los demás.

Verse of the Day - September 03, 2016

Isaiah 48:17 (NIV) This is what the Lord says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.

Read all of Isaiah 48