Saturday, April 30, 2016

Fickle Values

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14 

If I were to draw a caricature of an adult experiencing a lifelong crisis of confidence, I would depict a bowed, weary traveler. Over his shoulder, I would place the end of a mile‐long chain attached to tons of garbage. Inscribed on each piece of junk would be the details of some humiliation—a failure, a rejection, an embarrassment from the past. The traveler could let go of the chain, but he is convinced that he must drag that heavy load throughout life.

If this describes your own self‐concept, realize that you can free yourself from the weight of your chain. You have judged yourself inferior based on shifting standards. In the 1920s, women asked plastic surgeons to reduce their breast size—now many women undergo surgery to do just the opposite. In King Solomon’s biblical love song, the bride asked her groom to overlook her dark, well‐tanned skin—but in our country today, she’d be the pride of the beach. Rembrandt painted overweight ladies, but now, “thin is in.”

To be content with who we are as God’s creations, we must base our self‐image on His values, not on the fickle notions of human worth.

Just between us…
  • Do you ever feel like the weary traveler described above?
  • Do you sometimes feel that even God couldn’t love you?
  • What feelings of inferiority or inadequacy do you carry around? What would God say about your “junk”?
  • Do I help to elevate your opinion of yourself, or am I part of the problem? 

Lord, open our eyes to the half-truths and lies about ourselves that keep us in chains. We are made in Your image. May we affirm that beautiful truth in each other daily. Amen. 

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.

The Daily Readings for April 30, 2016

Leviticus 23:23-44
The LORD spoke to Moses, saying: Speak to the people of Israel, saying: In the seventh month, on the first day of the month, you shall observe a day of complete rest, a holy convocation commemorated with trumpet blasts. You shall not work at your occupations; and you shall present the LORD's offering by fire. The LORD spoke to Moses, saying: Now, the tenth day of this seventh month is the day of atonement; it shall be a holy convocation for you: you shall deny yourselves and present the LORD's offering by fire; and you shall do no work during that entire day; for it is a day of atonement, to make atonement on your behalf before the LORD your God. For anyone who does not practice self-denial during that entire day shall be cut off from the people. And anyone who does any work during that entire day, such a one I will destroy from the midst of the people. You shall do no work: it is a statute forever throughout your generations in all your settlements. It shall be to you a sabbath of complete rest, and you shall deny yourselves; on the ninth day of the month at evening, from evening to evening you shall keep your sabbath. The LORD spoke to Moses, saying: Speak to the people of Israel, saying: On the fifteenth day of this seventh month, and lasting seven days, there shall be the festival of booths to the LORD. The first day shall be a holy convocation; you shall not work at your occupations. Seven days you shall present the LORD's offerings by fire; on the eighth day you shall observe a holy convocation and present the LORD's offerings by fire; it is a solemn assembly; you shall not work at your occupations. These are the appointed festivals of the LORD, which you shall celebrate as times of holy convocation, for presenting to the LORD offerings by fire-- burnt offerings and grain offerings, sacrifices and drink offerings, each on its proper day-- apart from the sabbaths of the LORD, and apart from your gifts, and apart from all your votive offerings, and apart from all your freewill offerings, which you give to the LORD. Now, the fifteenth day of the seventh month, when you have gathered in the produce of the land, you shall keep the festival of the LORD, lasting seven days; a complete rest on the first day, and a complete rest on the eighth day. On the first day you shall take the fruit of majestic trees, branches of palm trees, boughs of leafy trees, and willows of the brook; and you shall rejoice before the LORD your God for seven days. You shall keep it as a festival to the LORD seven days in the year; you shall keep it in the seventh month as a statute forever throughout your generations. You shall live in booths for seven days; all that are citizens in Israel shall live in booths, so that your generations may know that I made the people of Israel live in booths when I brought them out of the land of Egypt: I am the LORD your God. Thus Moses declared to the people of Israel the appointed festivals of the LORD.


2 Thessalonians 3:1-18
Finally, brothers and sisters, pray for us, so that the word of the Lord may spread rapidly and be glorified everywhere, just as it is among you, and that we may be rescued from wicked and evil people; for not all have faith. But the Lord is faithful; he will strengthen you and guard you from the evil one. And we have confidence in the Lord concerning you, that you are doing and will go on doing the things that we command. May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ. Now we command you, beloved, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to keep away from believers who are living in idleness and not according to the tradition that they received from us. For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us; we were not idle when we were with you, and we did not eat anyone's bread without paying for it; but with toil and labor we worked night and day, so that we might not burden any of you. This was not because we do not have that right, but in order to give you an example to imitate. For even when we were with you, we gave you this command: Anyone unwilling to work should not eat. For we hear that some of you are living in idleness, mere busybodies, not doing any work. Now such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living. Brothers and sisters, do not be weary in doing what is right. Take note of those who do not obey what we say in this letter; have nothing to do with them, so that they may be ashamed. Do not regard them as enemies, but warn them as believers. Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in all ways. The Lord be with all of you. I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand. This is the mark in every letter of mine; it is the way I write. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with all of you.


Matthew 7:13-21
"Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easy that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it. "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will know them by their fruits. "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.


Morning Psalms

Psalm 75
1   We give you thanks, O God, we give you thanks, calling upon your Name and declaring all your wonderful deeds.
2   I will appoint a time, says God; I will judge with equity.
3   Though the earth and all its inhabitants are quaking, I will make its pillars fast.
4   I will say to the boasters, 'Boast no more, ' and to the wicked, 'Do not toss your horns;
5   Do not toss your horns so high, nor speak with a proud neck.'"
6   For judgment is neither from the east nor from the west, nor yet from the wilderness or the mountains.
7   It is God who judges; he puts down one and lifts up another.
8   For in the LORD'S hand there is a cup, full of spiced and foaming wine, which he pours out, and all the wicked of the earth shall drink and drain the dregs.
9   But I will rejoice for ever; I will sing praises to the God of Jacob.
10   He shall break off all the horns of the wicked; but the horns of the righteous shall be exalted.


Psalm 76
1   In Judah is God known; his Name is great in Israel.
2   At Salem is his tabernacle, and his dwelling is in Zion.
3   There he broke the flashing arrows, the shield, the sword, and the weapons of battle.
4   How glorious you are! more splendid than the everlasting mountains!
5   The strong of heart have been despoiled; they sink into sleep; none of the warriors can lift a hand.
6   At your rebuke, O God of Jacob, both horse and rider lie stunned.
7   What terror you inspire! who can stand before you when you are angry?
8   From heaven you pronounced judgment; the earth was afraid and was still;
9   When God rose up to judgment and to save all the oppressed of the earth.
10   Truly, wrathful Edom will give you thanks, and the remnant of Hamath will keep your feasts.
11   Make a vow to the LORD your God and keep it; let all around him bring gifts to him who is worthy to be feared.
12   He breaks the spirit of princes, and strikes terror in the kings of the earth.


Evening Psalms

Psalm 23
1   The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not be in want.
2   He makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside still waters.
3   He revives my soul and guides me along right pathways for his Name's sake.
4   Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil; for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5   You spread a table before me in the presence of those who trouble me; you have anointed my head with oil, and my cup is running over.
6   Surely your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.


Psalm 27
1   The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom then shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom then shall I be afraid?
2   When evildoers came upon me to eat up my flesh, it was they, my foes and my adversaries, who stumbled and fell.
3   Though an army should encamp against me, yet my heart shall not be afraid;
4   And though war should rise up against me, yet will I put my trust in him.
5   One thing have I asked of the LORD; one thing I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life;
6   To behold the fair beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
7   For in the day of trouble he shall keep me safe in his shelter; he shall hide me in the secrecy of his dwelling and set me high upon a rock.
8   Even now he lifts up my head above my enemies round about me.
9   Therefore I will offer in his dwelling an oblation with sounds of great gladness; I will sing and make music to the LORD.
10   Hearken to my voice, O LORD, when I call; have mercy on me and answer me.
11   You speak in my heart and say, "Seek my face." Your face, LORD, will I seek.
12   Hide not your face from me, nor turn away your servant in displeasure.
13   You have been my helper; cast me not away; do not forsake me, O God of my salvation.
14   Though my father and my mother forsake me, the LORD will sustain me.
15   Show me your way, O LORD; lead me on a level path, because of my enemies.
16   Deliver me not into the hand of my adversaries, for false witnesses have risen up against me, and also those who speak malice.
17   What if I had not believed that I should see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!
18   O tarry and await the LORD'S pleasure; be strong, and he shall comfort your heart; wait patiently for the LORD.

The Daily Meditation for April 30, 2016

From Forward Day by Day

Psalm 23:5 You spread a table before me in the presence of those who trouble me.

I like to think of myself as nonjudgmental, when actually, it is only that I have a discipline of returning to nonjudgment when I notice just how judgmental I actually am.

Sitting in a coffee shop, I am surrounded by children of God. They’ve grown old and hardened. Playground smiles have turned into protective scowls. A hardened shell protects their inner vulnerability. That troubles me.

A table is set for me to sacrifice my own judgment; give up the eyes of this world to have a feast of joy at the godly reality: we are all vulnerable children of God—waiting for another playground smile to pierce the hard shell. To be the first one to break through is a sacrifice worthy of the Lord’s table.

Join more than a half million readers worldwide who use Forward Day by Day as a resource for daily prayer and Bible study.

Affirmation Experiment

Matthew 7:1–5 

“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Matthew 7:1–2 

Years ago graduate students at an Ivy League college conducted an experiment. First they observed undergraduates until they found one of the most unkempt, most socially inept women on campus.

Then they drew up a schedule; each would spend a month getting close to the woman. They would “happen” to bump into her between classes. They would show up in line behind her in the dining hall. They would call her for lecture notes or assignment reminders. Moreover, when each was “on duty,” he would compliment the woman, expressing delight in her voice, her talents, her insights, her clothes.

The first student performed well. In spite of his misgivings, he began to speak to the woman, finding ways to affirm her. By the end of the month he found his task less onerous as the young woman started to respond. She smiled occasionally, combed her hair more often, and paid more attention to how she dressed.

The second graduate student took the experiment a step further. He asked the undergrad out on an official date and spent the month showering her with gifts and compliments.

By the third month there was a new glow about the young woman, and the third researcher enjoyed her company more than he cared to admit. When the graduate students got together to share their experiences and laugh at the “progress” of their victim, the third student had to force chuckles through self-conscious embarrassment.

The fourth member of the group never got the chance to lavish attention on the young woman because by then she was engaged to the man assigned to her during the third month. What started as a cruel and belittling pastime for the students turned into a love story.

None of us would want such a trick played on us. Yet there is something instructive about its outcome. As Jesus noted, when we spend our days looking at others with critical eyes, we find ourselves more in a laboratory than in a relationship. But when we begin to respect and affirm others as men and women made in the image of God, we move back into the relational warmth of family.

The implications are obvious for marriage. People who live closely with one another are bound to chip away at each other’s rough edges. We become experts in analysis and faultfinding, but we don’t gain much by that besides divisiveness and pain.

Jesus’ warning not to judge others doesn’t mean we should be blind to the faults of our mates. But it reminds us to be caring more than critical, compassionate more than judgmental. Just as Christ lavishes grace upon us, we can extend loving grace to each other, rejoicing as we together blossom and grow beautiful in each other’s eyes.

Wayne Brouwer

Let’s Talk
  • In what areas are we critical of each other? What brings out words of judgment in our relationship? How has this affected who we are together?
  • When has our relationship blossomed with warmth? What kinds of things did we say to one another during those times?
  • How can we bring out the best in each other? What practices will help accomplish that?

GOD USES PROBLEMS AND PERSECUTION TO PERFECT YOU

"We can rejoice when we run into problems...they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady.” Romans 5:3-4 LB

Here is the final of five ways God uses problems and persecution in your life: God uses problems and persecution to PERFECT you.

Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you are going to take with you into eternity.

Christian singer, Helen Berhane, wrote a song of victory while in the terrible conditions of an Eritrean shipping container cell for almost three years:

Christianity costs you your life

But at the end, its outcome is victory

The beating of the Hebrews with the whip was awful

The waves of the sea and the mighty wind

Crushed by the stone, suffering by day and night;

Paul’s faithfulness was tested by a sword.

Christianity costs you your life

But at the end, its outcome is victory

The journey of Ruth was a hope where there was no hope;

A sacrifice was paid even for a despised tribe.

Although there was nothing promised for Ruth

By faith she made her way toward Nazareth

And she entered into Jesus’ genealogy.

Christianity costs you your life

But at the end, its outcome is victory[1] 

RESPONSE: God is at work in my life—even when I do not recognize it or understand it. It is much easier and more profitable when I cooperate with Him. This is the way to victory! 

PRAYER: Thanks be to God who gives us the victory! 

1. Ibid, p.106.

Verse of the Day - April 30, 2016

Ephesians 4:15 (NIV) Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

Read all of Ephesians 4

Johnny Lingo’s Eight-cow Wife

by Patricia McGerr

When I visited the South Pacific islands, I took a notebook along. I had a three‐week leave between assignments in Japan, so I borrowed a boat and sailed to Kiniwata. The notebook was supposed to help me become a junior‐grade Maugham or Michener. But when I got back, among all my notes the only sentence that still interested me was the one that said, “Johnny Lingo gave eight cows to Sarita’s father.”

Johnny Lingo wasn’t exactly his name. But I wrote it down that way because I learned about the eight cows from Shenkin, the fat manager of the guest house at Kiniwata. He was from Chicago and had a habit of Americanizing the names of the islanders. He wasn’t the only one who talked about Johnny, though. His name came up with many people in many connections. If I wanted to spend a few days on the island of Nurabandi, a day’s sail away, Johnny Lingo could put me up, they told me, since he had built a five‐room house—unheard‐of luxury! If I wanted to fish, he could show me where the biting was best. If I wanted fresh vegetables, his garden was the greenest. If I sought pearls, his business savvy would bring me the best buys. Oh, the people of Kiniwata all spoke highly of Johnny Lingo. Yet when they spoke, they smiled, and the smiles were slightly mocking.

“Get Johnny Lingo to help you find what you want, and then let him do the bargaining,” advised Shenkin, as I sat on the veranda of his guest house wondering whether to visit Nurabandi. “He’ll earn his commission four times over. Johnny knows values and how to make a deal.”

“Johnny Lingo!” The chubby boy on the veranda steps hooted the name, then hugged his knees and rocked with shrill laughter.

“What goes on?” I asked. “Everybody around here tells me to get in touch with Johnny Lingo and then breaks up. Let me in on the joke.”

“They like to laugh,” Shenkin said. He shrugged his heavy shoulders.

“And Johnny’s the brightest, the quickest, the strongest young man in all this group of islands. So they like best to laugh at him.”

“But if he’s all you say, what is there to laugh about?”

“Only one thing. Five months ago, at fall festival time, Johnny came to Kiniwata and found himself a wife. He paid her father eight cows!”

He spoke the last words with great solemnity. I knew enough about island customs to be thoroughly impressed. Two or three cows would buy a fair‐to‐middling wife; four or five a highly satisfactory one.

“Eight cows!” I said. “She must be a beauty who takes your breath away.”

“The kindest could only call Sarita plain,” was Shenkin’s answer. “She was skinny. She walked with her shoulders hunched and her head ducked. She was scared of her own shadow.”

“Then how do you explain the eight cows?”

“We don’t,” he said. “And that’s why the villagers grin when they talk about Johnny. They get special satisfaction from the fact that Johnny, the sharpest trader in the islands, was bested by Sarita’s father, dull old Sam Karoo.”

“Eight cows,” I said unbelievingly. “I’d like to meet this Johnny Lingo.”

So the next afternoon I sailed a boat to Nurabandi and met Johnny at his home, where I asked about his eight‐cow purchase of Sarita. I assumed he had done it for his own vanity and reputation—at least until Sarita walked into the room. She was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. The lift of her shoulders, the tilt of her chin, the sparkle of her eyes all spelled a pride to which no one could deny her the right.

I turned back to Johnny Lingo after she had left. “You admire her?” he asked. “She… she’s glorious,” I said. “But she’s not Sarita from Kiniwata.” “There’s only one Sarita.

Perhaps she does not look the way they say she looked in Kiniwata.” “She doesn’t.” The impact of the girl’s appearance made me forget tact. “I heard she was homely. They all make fun of you because you let yourself be cheated by Sam Karoo.”

“You think eight cows were too many?” A smile slid over his lips. “No. But how can she be so different?” “Do you ever think,” he asked, “what it must mean to a woman to know that her husband settled on the lowest price for which she can be bought? And then later, when the women talk, they boast of what their husbands paid for them. One says four cows; another maybe six. How does she feel, the woman who was sold for one or two? This could not happen to my Sarita.”

“Then you did this just to make her happy?” I asked.

“I wanted Sarita to be happy, yes. But I wanted more than that. You say she is different. This is true. Many things can change a woman. Things that happen inside; things that happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks about herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands.”

“Then you wanted… ” “I wanted to marry Sarita. I loved her and no other woman.” “But… ” “But,” he finished softly, “I wanted an eight‐cow wife.”

Looking ahead…

Someone said, “We are not what we think we are. We are not even what others think we are. We are what we think others think we are.” In other words, our estimation of our value as human beings is greatly influenced by the way people respond to us and the respect or disdain they reveal day by day. Those interactions shape our self‐concepts and are translated into the nuances of our personalities.

Johnny Lingo was, indeed, a brilliant man. He was astute enough to know that his negotiations with Sarita’s father would seal forever the self‐concept of the woman he loved. That’s why Sarita revealed such confidence and beauty. Let me say to the husbands and wives reading this book: You have the power to elevate or debase each other’s self‐esteem. Rather than tear down, don’t miss a single opportunity to build up.

For the next few evenings, we’ll talk about how to do that.

- James C Dobson

From Night Light For Couples, by Dr. James & Shirley Dobson
Copyright © 2000 by James Dobson, Inc. All rights reserved.
“Johnny Lingo’s Eight‐Cow Wife” by Patricia McGerr. © 1965 by Patricia McGerr. First published in Woman’s Day. Reprinted by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd.